In Closing:
for this installment i have little to proffer save the poems themselves...
you will note that cummings is included yet again, as is some 8th c. japanese poetry. i left the neruda poem in the original spanish on the assumption that many of my readers have some background in that tongue, but if you require a translation do let me know... i am aware of at least three.
i think the closing piece by kate clanchy is my new favourite. lovely image.
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A Beautiful Girl Combs Her Hair
Awake at dawn
she's dreaming
by cool silk curtains
fragrance of spilling hair
half sandalwood, half aloes
windlass creaking at the well
singing jade
the lotus blossom wakes, refreshed
her mirror
two phoenixes
a pool of autumn light
standing on the ivory bed
loosening her hair
watching the mirror
one long coil, aromatic silk
a cloud down to the floor
drop the jade comb -- no sound
delicate fingers
pushing the coils into place
color of raven feathers
shining blue-black stuff
the jewelled comb will hardly hold it
spring wind makes me restless
her slovenly beauty upsets me
eighteen and her hair's so think
she wears herself out fixing it!
she's finished now
the whole arrangement in place
in a cloud-patterned skirt
she walks with even steps
a wild goose on the sand
turns away without a word
where is she off to?
down the steps to break a spray of
cherry blossoms
(Li Ho, turn of 9th C., translated by David Young)
-----
next to of course god america i
"next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country 'tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did no stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?"
He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water
(E. E. Cummings, 1926)
-----
A Man Said to the Universe
A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
(Stephen Crane, 1899)
-----
Verbo
Voy a arrugar esta palabra,
voy a torcerla,
sí,
es demasiado lisa,
es como si un gran perro o un gran río
le hubiera repasado lengua o agua
durante muchos años.
Quiero que en la palabra
se vea la aspereza,
la sal ferruginosa,
la fuerza desdentada
de la tierra,
la sangre
de los que hablaron y de los que no hablaron
Quiero ver la sed
adentro de las sílabas:
quiero tocar el fuego
en el sonido:
quiero sentir la oscuridad
del grito. Quiero
palabras ásperas
como piedras vírgenes.
(Pablo Neruda, 1968)
-----
Chess
Because we were friends and sometimes loved each other,
perhaps to add one more tie
to the many that already bound us,
we decided to play games of the mind.
We set up a board between us;
equally divided into pieces, values,
and possible moves.
We learned the rules, we swore to respect them,
and the match began.
We've been sitting here for centuries, meditating
ferociously
how to deal the one last blow that will finally
annihilate the other one forever.
(Roasario Castellanos, 1988)
-----
How Poetry Comes to Me
It comes blundering over the
Boulders at night, it stays
Frightened outside the
Range of my campfire
I go to meet it at the
Edge of the light
(Gary Snyder, 1992)
-----
Spell
If, at your desk, you push aside your work,
take down a book, turn to this verse
and read that I kneel there, pressing
my ear where on your chest the muscles
arch as great books part, in seagull curves,
bridging the seasounds of your heart,
and that your hands run through my hair,
draw the wayward mass to strands
as flat as scarlet silk-thread bookmarks,
and stroke my cheeks as if smoothing
back the tissue leaves from chilly,
plated pages, and pull me near
to read my eyes alone, then you shall see,
silvered and monochrome, yourself,
sitting at your desk, taking down a book,
turning to this verse, and then, my love,
you shall not know which one of us is reading
now, which writing, and which written.
(Kate Clanchy, 1999)

3 comments:
Below is my own translation of Neruda's "Verbo". It is maybe not as refined as it could be as I didn't have an excess of time to allot to the effort. One thing that confounded me for a little bit was 'destentada' until I figured out that it should be 'desdentada'. If I read some other translations, I'm sure I will find some instances where I didn't use the absolute best replacement word (e.g. I didn't want to use the word ferruginous even though it exists in English, but perhaps someone else has a better solution than mine). Anyway, here it is:
Verb
I am going to crumple this word,
I am going to twist it,
indeed,
it is much too smooth,
it is as if a great big dog or river
had passed its tongue or water over it
for many years.
I wish that in the word
you could see its coarseness,
the ferric salt,
the defanged strength
of the earth,
the blood
of those that once spoke and of those that had not spoken.
I want to see the thirst
within the syllables:
I want to touch the fire
in the sound:
I want to feel the darkness
of the cry. I want
words rough
as virgin rocks.
thanks for the subtle poke at my inability to properly spellcheck!
translation is a bear, especially for poetry... one so rarely captures the essence of the original by nature of the fact that you denature the text and render it in a wholly different tongue. one has to take into account not just the literal translation, but the image the poet desires to evoke. i attempted a translation of the 12th c. medieval spanish play fragment los autos de los reyes magos, and i was never quite satisfied with it.
i think you did a nice job (especially in choosing "defanged" over "toothless"), but there are a couple instances where i would break with you:
5: "great big" feels a trifle redundant
6: "lapped" rather than "passed"
10: "irony" rather than "ferric" (i make this suggestion somewhat in jest... it plays with "defanged strength" in the next line)
14: i read a translation that had "spoken out" instead, and i really liked the subtle difference
22: "stone" rather than "rocks," for its implication of unshaped
so, nothing really earthshattering.
nicely done.
Love the poetry selections -- e.e. cummings rocks! Also enjoying the running commentary in other entries. Hang tough in the heat and the dust, bro! Best wishes to all of you...
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