Love Spell

we've all lived with roommates before, for the most part. some of us have stood guard outside our academy rooms while said roommates engaged in activities supposedly contrary to good order and disciple, yet somehow at the same time excellent for the morale of those involved; others of us may have engaged in said activities. those of us fortunate enough to experience college in the traditional sense likely just hung an indicator of some sort outside the room (e.g. ballcap), or asked the roommate to crash elsewhere for an evening. some of us have even been sexiled from our hotel rooms in singapore, and left to wander the premises wasted, wearing nothing but a lovely bathrobe, and with a random key in hand in hopes of finding that other room to sleep in. what number was it? what floor was it?! crap.

whenever your experiences fall in the complex dance of roommate nookie, you are aware of at least one given constant: the odour. sex has an unmistakable musk that permeates a space and lingers long after the glow has passed... sort of a sweet funk in the air that, unless it was self-induced, makes one feel slightly sticky, more than a little dirty, and in definite need of a shower.

which brings me to my review of victoria's secret garden love spell luxurious shower gel, and its resplendant, transcendant scent. imagine that you awake one groggy, hung over saturday morning and stumble to the bathroom in your skivvies, only to accidentally catch through the crack in your roomie's slightly ajar door a light whiff of the past night's activities.

now imagine that your roommate is a unicorn that spent that night sipping mai tais and making love under a full moon (there is no roof in this analogy)--in a champagne waterfall--to another unicorn that was wearing rose hip and kitten perfume, while rainbows watched in awe and mermaids played a sensual rendition of planet caravan arranged for slap base and lyre in a shower of stardust, angel tears, and luna moths (which somehow found themselves trapped in a timespace dilation and frozen for those few perfect moments of ecstasy).

imagine the camera angle rotating in slow motion like a john wu film.

that is what this stuff smells like.

there is no conceivable way i can offer a numerical evaluation of this product. if i ever find anything better, i will drink it, because it will be liquid, bottled Jesus.