The Straight Poop, on the Eve:

when i first began this web log, i had every intention of peppering my little portion of the matrix with ones and zeros that--upon broad inspection--would resolve themselves into a series of caustic diatribes; these diatribes were to treat with as much irreverence as possible (for the which i am more than qualified) the myriad inexcusable deficiencies of, at the very least: the chain of command that sent me here on three weeks' notice with no one save my immediate superior expressing anything at all, let alone concern for my personal or professional safety or development (as in: neither my division head, nor the commandant, nor the superintendent contacted or met with me upon being assigned my mission--they were probably too busy spending the holidays with their families); the training we individual augmenters receive prior to deploying to a zone of hostile fire; the fundamental lack of proper leadership and management to which i've been privy, and have indeed been forced to combat to the best of my abilities with just two silly little captain bars; the waste, fraud, and abuse--in the form of monies and personnel--rampant in theatre; our, to my mind, poorly informed national security strategy; our entertainment press; and our nation's ruling class--er, government.

here's the deal though: reading back through my posts, i am personally amazed at the change of attitude i have suffered at the hands of empathy and perspective. indeed, all of the things that most aroused my ire have fallen by the wayside as i've trodden this well-exploded path, finding myself arrived in a place i little expected.

we can argue until we're blue--or red--in the face about the morality of our presence in this morass, and our reasons for leaping into it in the first place. to expound upon a cliché, hindsight is generally 20/20, if not better, but when everyone's watching the six, no one has their sights facing forward. no one, that is, save the soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen who are depending upon the accuracy of those iron sights, not to mention the men, women and children of this torn nation.

many times throughout my career i've asked myself the questions: why do i do it? why do i stay? first, there are the easy answers: i have been afforded amazing opportunities in both education and experience; i have seen much of a world i would not have otherwise; i was offered an incredible opportunity to give back to those whom i most owe at my alma mater, and a permanent change of station to the east coast that could have salvaged an ailing relationship. but, those are all superficial, and truthfully, largely irrelevant.

blackhawk down was showing on the armed forces network the other night, and while it did little to ease my paranoia, it helped me to define that harder answer to the questions above. i do this not for god, nor for country, nor for any ideal, misguided or no; when mortars land and cars explode indiscriminately, such intangibles become even further removed. i do it, and i dare say many of my fellows would assert the same, for those standing to my left and those standing to my right, and i do it for the decent people sheltered, however poorly and however infiltrated by our enemies, by our thin line of green, khaki, white, and blue--by our thin line of grey.

so, i would ask the blue faces and the red faces to please choke; a purple face would serve us better. here we are. here we can do good--good, to me, may simply be defined as one child less living in fear; something long ago taught me that the good of that one may indeed outweigh the good of the many, or the few. that's all i need to know.

because we are doing good:
i am attaching a letter from general petraeus to us troops, dated september 7, 2007. in it he makes a number of claims, and i give you my word of honour--truly broken only once in my lifetime, and that not at my hand--that however this plays out in the media and between the politicians, everything he states with respect to progress in this nation is genuine; i see the data on a day-to-day basis, though i cannot give any concrete statistics due to the level of classification. surely, he speaks with a guarded and tactful tongue with respect to the government of iraq, but that is the only element of dissembling (in my opinion) throughout.

so, here we are. however long we stay is not up to us, nor were the reasons we came--they never have been, nor ever will be--but while we are here i for one shall keep ever in mind he to my left, she to my right, and the child playing just behind us.